Ricarda Louk lost her daughter on October 7, 2023. The family had to watch as Shani, half-naked and motionless, was driven through the Gaza Strip on a pickup truck, surrounded by cheering terrorists. How is the family doing today, two years later? Christians Alongside Israel (CSI) spoke with Ricarda about this in Israel.
By Dana Nowak
How does a family cope when their daughter, their sister, was brutally murdered by Hamas terrorists? “Compared to other families, we’re doing relatively well today. We’re looking ahead, keeping busy, carrying on.” Ricarda Louk radiates an inner peace and, at the same time, a deep sorrow as she speaks.
She and her husband have been constantly on the go for the past two years. It's important to them that what happened in Israel and in their lives on October 7, 2023, is not forgotten. On that "Black Shabbat," their daughter Shani was taken from them. Their "little girl, who was so full of life and love." Talking about this tragic loss is like therapy. "It does us good, even though October was a difficult month for us," Ricarda says. "All the memorial events and lectures we were traveling for were emotionally exhausting, and I'm glad that month is over and things are a bit calmer now."
For 24 years, Ricarda worked in the high-tech industry. After her daughter's murder, she took a break but quickly realized she needed a job to survive. In October 2024, she quit. "I'm now taking various courses; things that are good for me. I've completed training in phototherapy. It helps me, and I've found that I can also help other victims. Through my lectures, I've realized that I can give other people strength and hope. I want to develop that further."
Not everyone manages to take the step back into life
In the aftermath of the Hamas attack on Israel, Ricarda and her family maintained close contact with other relatives of those kidnapped by Hamas. The solidarity and mutual support among the hostage families was remarkable, Ricarda explains. "Real friendships developed as a result." She is grateful for the numerous offers of help from aid organizations and the government. "Many therapy options are available for parents and siblings. There's something for everyone."
And yet, not every affected family manages to take the step back to life; some have been broken by the suffering. "We know families who have fallen into a deep hole and simply can't get out of it. Some haven't been able to work since October 7, 2023, and can no longer care for their remaining children. We try to help here. My husband and I always told ourselves, Shani isn't coming back, we have to keep going. We have other children who need us now. So we tried to be good role models, to be strong, and that helped our children and others in the family. Of course, the pain remains, but we can also laugh together again. That's what Shani would have wanted."
The hope for something good
Above all the pain and the many questions, the Louk family clings to one great hope: that the deaths of so many people on October 7th were not in vain. That something good will follow this great catastrophe. "My husband always mentions the end of the Second World War. If you had told the Jews who were led to the gas chambers, or the survivors at the time, that they would have their own state in four years, no one would have believed it. We have hope that things will get better; they can't get much worse."
Ricarda can't quite explain where she gets the strength to keep going and not despair. "It's somehow in our family; we grew up with a positive outlook on life. But in difficult situations, you always gain more strength than you could have imagined. Talking about it did me good. Shortly after the massacre, I went to the Bundestag in Berlin and gave interviews. It's really not like me to talk so much. But when you have to, you find the strength."
Ricarda is a German citizen. She comes from a Catholic family and grew up in Ravensburg. When she met her Israeli husband, she converted to Judaism. She wouldn't describe her family as religious, but they try to observe Shabbat.
The “Black Shabbat”: “I thought it was fake news”
Then Ricarda recounts her experience of October 7, 2023. “At 6:36 a.m., the rocket sirens started, and they never stopped. We called Shani, who was at the Nova Festival in the south. She had only returned from Greece a week earlier. She had spent the entire summer at festivals in Europe. Her boyfriend was from Mexico; he had also come to Israel with us. We never met him. He, too, was murdered by Hamas.”
Shani answered the phone and told the family she was on her way home. Meanwhile, Ricarda's family had learned from the news that terrorists from Gaza had invaded Israel. "At first, I thought it was fake news. We called Shani again, but she didn't answer. Around 10:30 a.m., my son Amit received a video. An ex-boyfriend of Shani's had sent it to him and asked if Shani was in the clip."
The video shows heavily armed terrorists on the back of a pickup truck. At their feet lies a half-naked woman, face down, her limbs unnaturally twisted. One terrorist is pulling at her hair. Others place their booted feet on her delicate body. The vehicle is surrounded by Palestinian civilians. They spit on the woman's head, cheer, and repeatedly shout "Allahu Akbar" (God is greatest).
“My son started screaming and crying, ‘That’s Shani! That’s Shani!’ We recognized her by her tattoos. I was sure it was my little girl! We didn’t know if she was dead or alive. The video was so awful, but we watched it over and over again, trying to find some sign of life. We were in shock and couldn’t imagine how she could have gotten from that festival to Gaza.”
In Israel, all the authorities were overwhelmed and no one could be reached. So the Louks contacted the embassy in Germany. They hoped they would receive help more quickly there, since Shani held both Israeli and German citizenship. "We sent them the video and were then given a contact person at the Federal Criminal Police Office (BKA) whom we could contact at any time. We always forwarded all new information to them. Everyone was kind, expressed their sympathy, and gave us an update every two weeks. But ultimately, nothing happened. That was very frustrating."
The family also sent the video to the press. It quickly spread around the world. It was one of the first accounts of the brutal massacre to become known beyond Israel's borders. "We said we were putting all our eggs in Germany's basket. We thought a German woman had a better chance of getting out of Gaza than an Israeli."
The parents spoke at the Bundestag, met with then-Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock and high-ranking members of various German political parties. They gave interviews to the press and fought tirelessly for their daughter's release. But their efforts were unsuccessful, Ricarda says with disappointment. Even towards the end, she believes Germany did too little for the eight other German citizens abducted by Hamas. She is grateful, however, for the support of the German ambassador to Israel, Steffen Seibert, who still contacts the family regularly.
In their desperation, the Louks also tried to contact Palestinians in the Gaza Strip. "We reached an elderly man and asked him to go to the hospitals and look for Shani. But we received conflicting information and then contact was lost."
After three weeks of uncertainty: The dreaded knock at the door
For three weeks, the family lived in uncertainty. "It was a terrible time. You're out and about all day, and in the evening you sit there completely exhausted, trying to relax, and then the worrying starts: What are they doing to her? At the same time, we kept hearing the bombings in the Gaza Strip and were afraid that the hostages would be hit. Sleep was out of the question during that time."
Then one day there was a knock at the door – something all Israeli parents with children in the army dread. It was military officials and social workers. “When we saw them, we knew. They told us that a piece of skull had been found and identified as Shani’s. You can’t live without that bone. The bone was found on Israeli soil.”.
So we can assume that Shani was killed instantly and the terrorists took her body to Gaza. She probably didn't suffer. On the one hand, that was a great relief for us. And yet, until then, we had still hoped that she was alive. Now we knew she would never come back
The Louks were only able to give their daughter a proper burial seven months later. In May 2024, Shani's body was found in a tunnel in the Gaza Strip. She had been buried there, next to the remains of five other hostages. "I always said we didn't want soldiers risking their lives to bring Shani's body home. But it was a good feeling when we were finally able to bury her. We could find closure."
Peace soon? Probably not
Ricarda cannot imagine that there will be peace with the Palestinians in the Gaza Strip anytime soon. "Twenty years of Hamas rule and the associated hatred of Israel have shaped the people. Even small children grow up with this hatred for us Jews. To them, we are monsters, not worth living in. In Israel, we live together with many Arabs. Many doctors, bus drivers, and pharmacists are Arabs. They just want to live, too.".
But for all of us, things have become more difficult since October 7th. That was a huge breach of trust, and you don't know who you can trust anymore. Hamas has already said that it will continue fighting Israel and will not surrender its weapons. Israel can want a ceasefire as much as it wants, but if the other side doesn't want it, we have a problem
Concern about radicalization
What pains Ricarda finds most troubling is that this problem is not understood by many countries and people worldwide. She is particularly concerned to see so many young people on social media and at universities around the globe taking a one-sided stance in favor of the Palestinians. "They are so radicalized. Young people see the beautiful pictures of Shani online. A girl who is happy and dancing, and then terrorists who kidnap and torture this girl. It's such a stark contrast between good and evil. You would think people would turn to the side of good, but there are so many supporters and followers of these very terrorists among young people. It's frightening. People need to find their way back to humanity. It can't be that there is no resistance to the senseless rape and murder of civilians."
Through her participation in festivals around the world, Shani had many international friends, including many Arab ones. "She was so open-minded. She always said there are no bad people, only people who are suffering. Our wish is that people find their way back to goodness."
Ricarda and her family don't want to become bitter. "We don't want to allow any hatred; it only destroys you. We also have no desire for revenge. The army informed us that the four men in the pickup truck have all been found and are dead. But ultimately, that doesn't help us. We want to look ahead, focus on the good; anything else is pointless."
This article first appeared in our newspaper "Israelaktuell," issue 143. You can order the newspaper here . We would also be happy to send you several copies for distribution.
