Painful losses, countless tears, and yet always new hope: The story of the young Israeli woman Orit is an invitation to be light even in times of deepest darkness.
By Dana Nowak
“Orit – my name means light. So I try to be light.” The young woman on stage beams as she introduces herself. Developing resilience, growing through difficulties, being a light for others – that’s what she’ll be speaking about this evening at a youth congress of the Central Welfare Board for Jews in Germany. And then Orit captivates the audience with her life story. What the 26-year-old has been through leaves those present shaking their heads, sighing, and crying, yet ultimately leaving them hopeful and inspired.
“I grew up in Othniel, in Judea. When I was 16, my father was killed in a terrorist attack,” Orit begins to tell his story. “It was a Friday afternoon. My parents went to Jerusalem with two of my siblings to visit my grandmother. I stayed home with my other sisters and brothers. Then there was a knock at the door. My cousin Elchanan was standing there. I immediately saw that something was wrong.”
Palestinian terrorists fired 29 shots at the family's car. The father was dead, the mother and siblings injured but alive. The news completely devastated her. "My father was my compass. I had no idea how I could go on without him. My mother was seriously injured. The doctors fought for her. After four months, she came home, a changed person. She never fully recovered and has needed a caregiver ever since," Orit continued.
“We can change lives”
While her mother was still in the hospital, she visited her regularly. During these visits, she noticed a woman. "She was always alone, so I started talking to her. She was 75 years old and told me that her children and grandchildren had initially come, but over time it had become too much for them. Her loneliness deeply affected me. I saw two options: either to lament how terrible it was that this woman was alone, or to say, if there is no light for this woman, then I want to be her light," Orit said.
She wanted to make a difference, so at 17, she founded the organization "Or Michael," named after her father. "His light should continue to shine." Through "Or Michael," Orit continues to recruit volunteers across the country to spread light in hospitals and visit lonely people. "We don't just live in this world, we can change this world, we can change lives," Orit is certain. "We often put so much energy into things we can't change. Instead, we should decide every morning to become a better person. We can start with small things. If I see something beautiful or good about someone, I say it. How often do I hear people sing someone's praises after they've died? That's nice, but I wonder, did they ever say all those beautiful things to that person while they were alive? We can't take away people's pain, but we can bring them light, bring them joy," Orit explains her vision.
After a period of mourning for her father, she had decided to live and marry. Her eldest brother, Schlomi, accompanied her to the wedding in their father's place. "Despite everything, I was happy. I had found a wonderful man, we had a house, and our lives."
But Orit was not to find peace. Three years after her father's death, there was a knock at the door one night. "A neighbor had come. He told us that my brother Schlomi was seriously injured in the hospital. Schlomi was an officer and worked for Mossad. That night he was out riding his motorcycle. He was run over by a Bedouin who was driving at excessive speed and without lights." For two days the doctors fought for Schlomi's life. For two days the family prayed. But Schlomi died, at only 29 years old.
"He had three small children. I just cried and cried. It was too much. I cried out to God: 'Why do you allow so much pain? Why all the suffering, why wars, why anti-Semitism, why diseases?' I received no answer. At some point, I realized that such blows in life don't just happen to us, that they serve a higher purpose and that we are meant to learn something from them."
"God knows exactly what he is doing, even if I don't understand it."
Schlomi saved the lives of five people after his death. He had an organ donor card. "The day my brother died, the day that was so sad for me, was the happiest day of their lives for five families. That's a different perspective. The world out there is vast. God knows exactly what he's doing, even if I don't understand it."
Even in the darkest times, Orit emphasizes, she has repeatedly experienced hope. Before her brother's death, doctors diagnosed her with a chronic, incurable illness during a routine check-up. She had to completely change her life overnight. She shared her experiences on social media. After her brother's death, while still grieving, a woman approached her in Jerusalem: "Orit, I follow you on Instagram. You have a chronic illness, just like me." The woman told her that she had been battling the disease for ten years. "But she regained her courage when she saw how I publicly shared my struggle with the illness. We don't choose our pain, but if we use our pain to help others, then we have won.".
Orit describes her experience of dealing with pain and grief in her book, "A Broken Ray of Light." Her message: When the ray of light in life breaks, it shatters into many small points of light that offer hope to others. She emphasizes the importance of giving oneself space to grieve. She consciously sets aside specific times for mourning, allowing herself to break down and cry. But she doesn't allow grief to control her life. Rather, she believes it is worthwhile to transform life's tragedies into hope.
Nightmare October 7th
A month after the publication of her book, Israel awoke to a nightmare. It was October 7, 2023. Hundreds of Hamas terrorists from the Gaza Strip had invaded the country and murdered children, women, and men with unprecedented cruelty in Israel. They raped, tortured, and abducted Israelis, and it took hours for the army to arrive on the scene to stop the massacre.
Orit's cousin Elchanan also fought against the terrorists – he was on duty for 15 hours straight and, with his unit, saved the lives of more than 100 people in Kibbutz Be'eri. But then Elchanan fell. "I was devastated. Elchanan was like a second father to me. I always tried to see the good in life, to be a light. But now I simply couldn't and didn't want to anymore," Orit confesses.
Israel was at war, the people were traumatized by the Hamas attack, and thousands of reservists, including Orit's husband, were called up for reserve duty.
"For the first time in my life, I wanted to cancel."
“I received a message from soldiers in the north. ‘Orit, could you please come and encourage our group? We need you.’ For the first time in my life, I wanted to refuse. I just couldn’t go on. But then I thought, ‘Did these soldiers choose this war? They might die. We didn’t want this war, but we Jews know we have to win it, otherwise we won’t exist anymore.’” So she pulled herself together and went to the north after all.
From the ashes of the Holocaust
After the conversation, one of the soldiers approached her: “Orit, I agree with you completely. We must seek the light and pass it on. But how? This wasn't just a major attack; something unbelievable happened here.” He then told her about a boy whose entire family had been murdered on October 7th. “How are we supposed to get up in the morning and decide to bring light into the world?”
She thought about it for a long time and then answered him: “Think of the Holocaust. So many people survived there, not just as the sole survivors of their families, but as the sole survivors of their entire clans. They had nothing left, no house, no land; they themselves were nothing but skin and bones. I don't know how these people managed to go on. One of our family members also survived; he looked to the future, came to Israel, fell in love, and started a family. He had a son, Benny Kalmanson, who founded a yeshiva (Talmudic school) in Othniel and had children, including a son, Elchanan. And Elchanan, my cousin, saved the lives of more than 100 people in Be'eri.”.
What would have happened to those 100 people if that grandfather had given up after the Holocaust because it was so dark around him? How many of us wouldn't be here if all the Holocaust survivors had given up and hadn't chosen to see the small light, to believe in the good, and to want to be a light ourselves, for future generations and for all those who can no longer shine?
With this message, Orit then traveled throughout her war-torn country to encourage soldiers. She still vividly remembers the evening of October 31, 2023. It was the first week of the Israeli ground offensive in the Gaza Strip. Her brother Pedayah, who had survived the 2016 terrorist attack in his car, was also deployed. She herself had just finished speaking at an army base on the Gaza border.
“Suddenly we heard a loud explosion. I said to the soldiers, ‘I don’t have to worry about my husband or brother; three people have already been taken from me.’ Then I drove off. On the way, I met relatives, and we went for a drink. Then soldiers came into the restaurant. In times of war, I always thank soldiers for fighting for our country. So I went over and spoke to them. They asked me if I was Orit. When I said yes, they told me that my brother had been killed that evening in Gaza.”
Her first reaction was disbelief. Losing four people in seven years, "that makes no sense even in Israel." But Pedayah was dead. He fell at the age of 22 fighting Hamas terrorists.
Light or darkness: we always have a choice
At Pedayah's funeral, I decided: I will not give up. I know there is light after darkness. After every loss, no matter how devastating, she has seen new life: love, marriage, a child. Signs that good exists, even when evil is real. "We mustn't ignore good just because evil exists. We always have the choice of whether to focus on light or darkness."
Orit is certain: “If you are still in this world, then God has a mission for you. He has decided that he needs you.” Orit has repeatedly chosen to let her light shine. In Israel, she is a well-known influencer and a sought-after speaker at trauma recovery events. That evening, she also encouraged her audience in Hamburg: “Whether you are happy or sad doesn't depend on your circumstances, but is a decision you make. Don't blame the world for your feelings. There is something to be thankful for every day. Shine, shine, make the world a better place.”
This article first appeared in our newspaper "Israelaktuell," issue 145. You can order the newspaper here . We would also be happy to send you several copies for distribution.
